A Different Fairytale

Ok, readers. I know that the majority of my blogs are written for humor, and to make you laugh. But I also feel like I want you guys to know me, and who I am. I want to share with you not only the good times, but also the bad. So, today I am going to tell you about the greatest struggle I've had in life.

Every girl has their fairytale fantasy. They find their handsome prince, get married and have a family and live happily ever after. The end. When I was fifteen, part of this dream for me was shattered. I was told that I couldn't have kids. I am now 20 years old, and this has been confirmed by 3 other doctors.

Now, when I was fifteen, this was extremely heartbreaking for me. However, I didn't really realize how it would affect my entire life, and how the pain of knowing I would never be a mother would grow as I got older. It is something that has been a constant ache for me, and something that I will never truly accept.

Everyone always tells me that I can adopt, and yes. I am aware of that. And I am sure that one day, when I'm ready, I will. And I will love that child more than anyone has loved a child before. But I will miss out on the pregnancy. I won't get to make an announcement on whether I'm having a boy or a girl. I'll never wake up in the middle of the night, look at my husband and say, "It's time!" There will be no rushing to the hospital, no calling the family and telling them that my child had been born. That is not in the cards for me.

I can never explain to you the devastation that this has brought to me. Maybe one day, I will be blessed with a miracle. Maybe I won't. Who knows. But this has played a large part in the person that I have become. It has taught me that there is nothing more important than family. It's taught me to take things as they come and make the best of them, and to find the silver lining on every cloud. It has been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with, but I am so happy that I have learned so much for it. I am happy with myself and my life, whether I am getting the traditional 'fairytale' or not. I will still have my fairytale, it just may not be the same as everyone else's. And that is okay.