Go Home, You're Drunk

I like to drink. Maybe I have a drinking problem, maybe I don't. No. I don't. I've never gone to work drunk so I think I'm good. Maybe.. Maybe I'm just in denial? Fuck. Anyways, the bottom line is I like to drink, especially in a social setting. Preferrably at parties. I have seen so many other people drunk, and how they act. I think it's time to blog about it.

She is white girl wasted, and
needs to go the fuck home.

First off, you have the White Girl Wasted bitches. They're screaming everything they say and taking their clothes off and crying and yelling and pretty much just being a fucking mess. Calm the fuck down. Put on your clothes. No one wants to see that (unless you're attractive as fuck, and even then, it's pretty fucking sketchy). Also, if you're in public, calm the fuck down! Or your ass is going to jail for public intox. Although I won't lie, I would laugh my ass off if I saw someone get arrested for that..

The cryers. Oh, god. You know who I'm talking about. They have two beers, and all of a sudden they have make-up running down their faces and they're sobbing about a break-up that happened two fucking years ago. And you try to help them? They freak the fuck out and hide in a closet, to cry alone. Seriously. Get out of my house you cry baby. No one wants to listen to that shit! So, if you need to cry to someone, call the ex of yours and cry to them. It's their fault you're crying in the fucking first place!

The dick. The minute this person gets slightly intoxicated, they start insulting everyone. "You're ugly as fuck." "You're fat." Blah, blah, blah... Whatever. You're a dick, and you should leave. Ok.

There are the people that are drunk as fuck, and can't stand up straight, but think they're okay to drive home. Nope. You're wrong. Give me your fucking keys. Here's a pillow. Drunk ass.

Now, the best kind of drunk people are the funny ones. They are almost white girl wasted, but still have control of themselves. They can function with their clothes on, and say fucking funny shit. This is the kind of person you want to drink with. They're funny, and like to play games and just be cool. And dance. Who doesn't fucking dance when they're drunk? If you cannot handle yourself like this when you get drunk, then you should not be drinking in public. End of story.