There's a Hole In My Face

I did it. I pierced my nose. I feel like such a bad ass. Really I do. You don't just go and get a piercing without being a motherfucking bad ass! It doesn't work like that. Now, let me tell you the story.

So yesterday I was in this mood.. I can't describe this mood. It was weird as fuck and I only feel like this maybe twice a year. But when I get in this mood, I have to do something crazy. I have to go do something that I wouldn't do on a normal day. Yesterday, I decided that I would take that mood, and apply it to my face. And that's when I decided to get my nose piercing.

Now, I've wanted to for a long time. But I'm a fucking pussy, and could never talk myself into it. I always found an excuse (no time, no money, etc..) and pussied out. So yesterday, I finally got the balls and just did it.

I started at a tattoo parlor, because they used to do piercings. Just my luck, their piercing guy fucking quit. So, of course, they no longer did piercings there. Fuck. But wait! They gave me the address to a piercing shop and a phone number, and they called and got me a discount. Fuck yeah!

So I drive over to the piercing shop. I get out of my car and walk right in, confident as fuck. I'm such a badass, getting my nose pierced and shit. I swear to god, in that moment, I was the coolest person ever. So I fill out the paperwork and pick out my nose piercing and then it hit me. I was getting a needle shoved into my skin. Holy fuck.

I almost walked out right then. I almost ran away, forfeiting all of the badass points I had earned thus far, and pussied out. But I didn't. I stayed. I started shaking, and getting all clammy. How long will it take? Will it hurt? Fuck, what the fuck am I doing with my life?? Oh, god, I can't do this.. And then they call my name. They were ready for me.

I walk back to the piercing room. This is what I say- "Sorry if I start laughing hysterically, that's just what I do when I'm nervous." The guys face was priceless. You could tell what he was thinking. This adorable little girl walking in, probably doing the most rebel thing she could think of to spite her parents.. Wrong. I just wanted a piercing. But I was being a pussy about it.

He draws the dot where it'll be, puts the needle to my skin and BAM! Done. I look in the mirror. Oh jesus, there's a needle going through my mother fucking nose! And that's when the laughter starts. I'm trying so hard to suppress it, resulting in random snorts and body convulsions in place of the hysterical laughter. The guy that pierced me-Patrick-starts laughing at me. "Relax your face, I have to put the piercing in."

Now THAT was a weird feeling. But it was so cool. He finishes, and my eye starts to water. Oh god, I'm going to cry. I gained control, and only two tears were shed before I composed myself like the lady that I was. Ladies don't cry in public, you know. I look in the mirror, and couldn't be more pleased or proud of myself. I fucking did it. I put a hole in my face and shoved a diamond inside. Such a fucking bad ass.