Share This Blog or You Will Die

I recently wrote a post about my addiction to Facebook. As you know, I'm on there 24/7, reading, stalking, posting, and judging. There are some things that bug the fuck out of me, and they need to be talked about.

First, why the fuck is there an 'it's complicated' relationship status? If you aren't in a relationship, you're single. There is no 'it's complicated.' It's fucking bull shit. And if you aren't sure whether or not you're together, you aren't together. Simple as that. If you're having problems in your relationship, don't fucking advertise it by saying 'it's complicated.' That's a bunch of childish bullshit and it needs to stop.

If you're having a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/friend/child/parent, don't fucking post it on Facebook! The only thing you are doing is asking for attention, and for people to take your side, and that is a dick move. Grow up, and tackle your problems with them, not the public.

Share this in 10 seconds on 10 status' or something bad will happen to you in 2 days. No it fucking won't. And if you believe it will, then you need to grow up and realize that it's just a fucking picture! Jesus.

If you post a status about something that's upsetting you, and someone asks 'what's wrong?' and you reply, 'I'll message you,' I'm going to delete you. If it's a private matter that you don't want people to know about, then don't fucking post ANYTHING about it!

"Like this if u love ur mom.' 'Like this if I'm pretty.' 'Like this if you hate cancer.' Fucking. Stop. We all know you love you're mom, and that you're an attention seeking whore who hates cancer. These pictures are cluttering up my newsfeed, and wasting everyone's time. You don't have to like a picture to tell your mom you love her. How about instead, you call her and tell her you fucking love her!

Stop posting pictures of your tits, ladies. You look like a slut.

Oh, and that goes for duckface, as well. It doesn't make your lips look more voluptuous, it just makes you look ugly and slutty and no one wants to see that.

Everyone has their bad days, including me. Sometimes I let people know. But not all the fucking time. Stop being so god damned negative all the fucking time. Nobody is going to come to your rescue. How about, instead of making everyone think you're a desperate sad loser, you show people that there are good things in your life. I promise, you will get way more friends doing that, than you will telling us all how sad and lonely you are. Nobody cares.

Now. Share this blog or in 10 days, I'm going to kill you in the middle of the night with the knife I used to butter my toast this morning.