Here Comes Adulthood

The air is heating up. Everyone is turning on the A/C and pulling their shorts out from the bottom of the Pants Pile. Do you know what this means?

Graduation season.



I'm still young enough that I have friends, and the siblings of friends, who are graduating from high school this year. Everyone is so excited, posting things on Facebook like "OMG only 7 days until freedom!" Who can blame them? Who doesn't remember counting down the days until you were free of high school? We were all so excited, anticipating the best for our lives, thinking we would go somewhere and do something important. But to those of you who are graduating, do not let these emotions fool you.

We were so cute..





This blog is a warning.

DO NOT GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL.

You think it's going to be all fun and games. Some of you will go off to college, some of you will be getting your first job. While everyone offers you well wishes and congratulations, I only say that I am sorry.

Adulthood fucking sucks.



Now, I'm sure it's not so bad for those of you who will stay at home for as long as you can, but eventually, it will catch up to you.

You go from eating moms chicken every night, to wondering how many dimes you'll have to scrounge up to buy a box of Ramen from your local Wal-Mart.



You think the drama ends? Think again. It only gets worse. It changes. It goes from hating the girl who 'stole' your boyfriend, to hating the girl who stole your job. Instead of deciding on which boy to say 'Yes' to for the prom, you're stuck deciding which dating site to use where you're just so positive that no one you know will be on there. Until all the nerdy guys you went to school with start chatting you up and asking you to drinks, and you start to wonder if you're really that desperate.

You stalk the Facebook pages of all your former classmates, and wonder how they did so well for themselves, while you're stuck in a black hole of despair, loneliness and poverty.

You gain weight. Yes, my friends, your metabolism really does slow down. Your diet of Ramen doesn't help, nor does the fact that you're too fucking poor to afford a gym pass. What happened to those size 2 jeans, and where did this ass come from?

Eventually, things look up. After an exhausting semester (or eight) of college, you find out that, once again, you're graduating. This, my friends, is when the fun starts.

Unfortunately it takes a while to get there. You get stuck. You're too poor for a semester, so you have to delay your schooling, unless you can get that scholorship that 7000 other students applied for. This, my friends, is where I am at.

It has been 2 years since I graduated, and I have yet to step foot on the campus of college. Do not delay you're schooling, you will figure it out. Otherwise, you will end up like me, stalking the pages of former classmates, who are now graduating college, getting married and having babies.

Fuck.

In the meantime, I highly suggest garlic salt in your Ramen. Spices things up a bit.