Ask Me Anything

Ok. So today I posted on my lovely Facebook that I wanted to do a 'questions' blog. This may or may not have been a big fucking mistake, due to the fact that I have weird-ass fucking friends. However, as promised, I will be answering your questions, and they will be answered in the order they were asked. We take turns, here! Here we go, bitches!

Question: (Asker requested to remain anonymous) "Why do you have a boyfriend? You're amazing and every girl that gets with me is a bitch! Why couldn't i have gone after you when i hand the chance...."

Answer: First off, I just need you all to know that it was extremely awkward reading this question. But, I had to answer so here it goes- All of the things you said about me are true. That's why I have a boyfriend. And also, because I found someone who I love, and who I wouldn't give up for the world. Sorry, buddy! Also, you didn't go after me when you had a chance because you're a fucking idiot. Stop hanging out with bitches, bro.

Question: (Asked by Lindsey) "If a taco and a grilled cheese were boxing against each other, who would win and why? I would like you also to describe all three rounds in detail so we can all get a mental picture going in our brains of a taco and a grilled cheese boxing."

Answer: What the fuck? Ok. Well first off, obviously a grilled cheese would win. The minute he hits the taco, all of his insides are going to fall out of his butt. Tacos don't know how to keep their shit together! Also, there will only be one round, due to the fact that after the first round, the insides of the taco will be smeared around in the ring, and the taco will be dead and unable to continue the fight. See above.

Note: Do not judge me on this picture of a taco and a grilled cheese fighting. The only resource I had was the paint program which, as we all know, is difficult to use sometimes.

Question: (Asked by Marques) "How many times do you and Andrew get it on per week?!?

Answer: Ok, ya little pervert! This one is a hard question to answer, due to the fact that this number varies greatly, especially considering the face that we just moved in together, and are no longer living 35 minutes away from each other. However, I can tell you that we are both very satisfied in that area. *wink wink*

Question: (Asked by Alejandro) "Are you gay?" "Are you black?"

Answer: No to both of these. And you knew the answer to both of these, fucker.

Question: (Again, asked by Alejandro) "Do you prefer getting clubbed in the face or a pearl necklace?"

Answer: Well, I actually have an allergic reaction whenever I wear any kind of necklace, so I'm gonna go with a club to the face.

Question: (Asked by Tammy) "Would you rather swallow a pregnant gold fish or 100 fish eyes. Give me your reason behind your answer."

Answer: Oh dear lord, kill me now. This is a hard one. If I throw up, do I have to continue trying to eat whatever I choose? Or can I quit? I absolutely hate this question. But I'm gonna have to go with the fish eyes, simply because they are small and can be swallowed easily. Fuck my life.

Alright. There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. If you want me to do another questions post, please feel free to post any questions in the comments, or post on my facebook (if you're my facebook friend)!