Being 'Completed' By Someone Else

So, first off, I would like to apologize to Janna. She gave me a suggestion about what I should blog about, and I am not blogging about it. Well, not today anyways. It will come later this week! Just be patient. Also, to all of my readers, I am so sorry that I have not blogged for such an extended period of time. It has been a weekend of mourning. Dylan Jensen passed away on Friday, March 1st. We are truly going to miss you, Dylan.

Now, onto my blog of today. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone talking about their significant other, and they say, "he/she completes me," or heard someone say, "find someone that completes you." And I need to tell you.. This drives me bat-shit-fucking insane. Because it is the worst insult you can give to your own fucking self.

First off, you should not have to rely on someone else to make you feel complete. That is not the purpose of a fucking relationship! And if you don't feel complete, then you aren't ready to be in a committed relationship.

The first piece of advice I give to all of my friends when they say, "I just need to find someone" is this: Until you are happy with yourself and your life, the way that YOU have made it, you should not start looking for someone else to be a part of it. And if you are feeling lonely, or sad, or disappointed with your life, finding someone is not going to help with that, it is only going to hinder you. You should feel happy with yourself, and independent. You should be able to support yourself, physically and emotionally, and be truly happy before you find someone. It is so unhealthy to be in a relationship, simply because you want to feel 'complete.'

Now, maybe I am a hypocrite for writing this. I know that there were a few years where I was constantly dating someone. Unfortunately, that's the reason that I learned this lesson. After my last relationship ended, I realized how completely helpless I was. I had no idea who I was, or what I wanted, because I had been so focused on 'us' and how 'we' would live our life together. And it took me a long time to realize that until I had goals for myself, and was in a place where I was truly happy, I would not be ready to settle down with someone. And I am so glad that I realized this.

It is so easy to lost sight of yourself, or your goals, simply because you are being selfless in trying to care for someone else, or make someone else happy. And this is fucking ridiculous. I wish that we could all realize that the easiest way to make the people around us happy, is to make ourselves happy!

So, for those of you who are single, and just want to be 'completed,' I want you to shut the fuck up and stop the attitude that you have. Take a look at yourself, and your own fucking life, and think about how satisfied with where you are. Work on yourself, and make yourself happy, and that is when you can move on to the next step, and find someone to compliment your completeness.