Women Wear the Pants

Women. They think they know everything. Women have been breaking the rules. They've been breaking out and leaving the kitchen. They've abandoned their sandwich stations. They've started talking back and getting jobs. What happened to the good ol' days, when dinner was ready when you got home from work? It seems so long ago...

It started slow, one day you came home and dinner wasn't ready on time. You let it slide, thinking it was just a one-time event. This, men, is where you went wrong. You should have put your foot down, then! You should have showed her that there are no excuses, dinner is to be ready when YOU want it to be ready! And now, it's too late.

Some weeks later, you go into the office, and there, sitting in Bob's desk, is a woman. At first you think nothing of it. Maybe it was his wife, because he forgot his lunch. And then something funny happens.. She doesn't leave. Bob's name tag is replaced with one that says "Sally," and every day, Sally keeps showing up in Bob's place. All the time, you worry. Who's making her husband's sandwiches? Who's cleaning the house and caring for the kids? How can this be happening?

It doesn't stop there. Soon women are in corporate offices. They're learning to fly planes and going to college. They're taking over the world! You panic, and start thinking back... You remember the first time your wife said, "make your own sandwich," and quietly wonder why you hadn't done anything about it back then, when you had the chance. You could have stopped this! You could have done something before it was too late!

Now, as you lay on the couch, wondering how it was that the woman got the power to make you sleep on the couch, you reminisce about the days when your loving and caring wife was still with you. Who is this woman who has taken over your home? Where did she come from? You stare down at the hole in your pants, and wonder how it was that she said 'no' to you when you told her to fix it for you. The more you think about it, the more you realize... It's too late. This has gone too far, and it cannot be fixed. Oh, how your father would be ashamed if he knew that your lady was controlling the household. You know that there are no options. This cannot be fixed.

You slowly slip into a slumber, hoping and praying of good dreams, ones that will tell you how to cope with this new realization. Instead you dream of being alone. There is no hope for you. The women have taken over your throne.

*This blog does not reflect my personal views on how men or women should be treated. I just think that sexist jokes are funny.*