There's A Cat In My Future

Cats are the devil, and I fucking hate them. Maybe it's because I used to be allergic to them. Maybe it's because my cat Kira that I had when I was little scratched my eyeball. I don't know. But I fucking hate them.

They always smell like cat poop. Dogs have a distinct dog smell, and their shit has a smell, but they don't smell like their shit. Cats, on the otherhand, always smell like they just rolled in their own feces before parading around the house.

The crawl everywhere. Tito jumps on you, and sits on your face, but he doesn't jump on the kitchen counters. He isn't going to pounce on me from on top of the bedroom door. A cat will do those things. Get outta the kitchen, cat, that's the women's territory.

Tito doesn't growl. He only barks when someone knocks. Cats his, and claw you, and they are just so fucking mean. They don't love you like a dog was. If my house was on fire, Tito would try with all his might to drag me out. A cat? It would run the fuck away and never come back, except to munch on my lifeless body. Cats are heartless.

Now, the reason I have told you this is because Andrew and I are getting a kitten. I don't know why I'm doing this, other than the fact that I am blinded by love, and have no control over my actions at this point. But he loves kittens and cats and I just want him to be happy.

Anyways, we're going to look at them today, and I just don't know how to feel about it. Part of me is excited because, whether I want to admit it or not, kittens are cute. And Tito loves kittens. It will be good for him to have a friend.

Another part of me is wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. Why can't I just grow some balls and say 'no cats!' But I can't. I can't do it. I cannot bring myself to crush all of Andrew's hopes and dreams. Maybe he really does wear the pants.

Now, maybe this wouldn't be so bad, but both him AND my roommate want a black cat... What? I fucking hate black cats the most. They look evil. With their beady little eyes... Ew. It gives me the creeps.

So, hopefully today goes well, and we can decide on a kitten that's white, or black and white. Not black. Fuck.