Deck The Halls With Bones And Balls

Christmas is coming. Time for parties, and holiday cheer, and decorating. This is my first year of decorating my own place for Christmas. You know what that means... I don't have shit.

I had my own stocking, which was made for me by my grandma when I was born. That's it. So, as Andrew and I were shopping for ugly sweaters, we came across some Christmas stockings. We bought 2 of them- one for him and one for Tito. Now, I don't know who designed Tito's Christmas stocking, but it has a dog on it, and says "Deck the halls with bones and balls." This cracks me up. Seriously. Who said, with a straight face, that the stocking should mention bones and balls without laughing hysterically? And who went along with that idea?? I don't now, but I am grateful for them, because that saying is now decorating my fireplace.

Now, as for a Christmas tree, those things are fucking expensive. It's a fucking tree! It costs you 10 cents for the seeds, and water. And you're charging $70? Really? Fuck that! I'm poor as shit! So as I was walking around, deciding what to do, I got the most brilliant idea. And I made my own Christmas tree. It took 3 green poster boards, a string of lights, a string of beads, 2 sets of bulbs, tin foil, and nails. Lots of nails. Fuck it, I don't have to pay to fill the holes.

Now, when I first got this idea in my head, I thought it was going to look ghetto as fuck. Seriously, it's a fucking paper tree. I was thoroughly surprised, and so happy with my creation. It is actually pretty cute.

So now I'm decorated for Christmas. I got my tree, and my stockings, and will soon have a gingerbread house to top it all off. Ya, I'm classy as fuck. Happy holidays. May your halls be decked with bones and balls this holiday season.