Autocorrect, My Worst Enemy

Fuck autocorrect. Seriously. I become a victim of autocorrect at least once every week, if not every day, and right now I am going to tell you about the worst autocorrect experience of my entire life. Fuck.

So, I was just at home, minding my own business, when I suddenly became super hungry. Obviously, I went to the kitchen to find something to eat. I had some bread, so I put some butter and garlic on it and shoved in in the oven. Mmmm, toasty garlic bread.

Now, at this time, I was texting my friend Ken. Thank God he has a good sense of humor. Seriously. He asks me what I was up to. Now, what I typed and what my phone assumed I wanted to say were different. Apparently, my phone was feeling a little horny. Unfortunately, I didn't catch the error before sending it. This is the conversation:

Ken: Hey, what're you up to?

Me: Oh, just masturbating.

Uh.... Shit. My phone turned "making bread" into masturbating. What the fuck, phone??? I am not masturbating! What a dirty little mind you have! Seriously, you are like a 12 year old boy! Grow up, and calm your hormones!

So I text him that I swear I'm making bread, not masturbating. He's laughing his ass off and OBVIOUSLY has to show all of his coworkers the dirty little text he just got from my phone, NOT from me. I still have no idea if he believes I really was just getting a snack to settle my ravenous stomach, and not pleasuring myself and sharing it with him.

Now, as if this wasn't bad enough, this epidemic caused me to burn the bread I was making. Fuck you autocorrect for ruining my life, and my snack.

Here's a picture of someone else's autocorrect that had me laughing my ass off. Homosexual Grandma! Enjoy!