You're Gonna Get Hit By A Train

For as long as I can remember, my dad has worked driving a truck for a living. Well, until a couple months ago when he got moved into the office. But that's irrelevant. Anyways, he drove a diesel, delivering fuel to various gas stations. He's a truck driver. Now, not just anyone can drive a truck for a living. You have to know all the rules of the road, some common curteousy, and, of course, how to drive in all conditions. Lucky for me, when I turned 16, I was taught how to drive by none other than my dad, a guy who drove for a living and had competed in driving competitions during my childhood. He knew it all. Something he was always adamant about was driving in the snow.

Obviously, this is helpful. I live in fucking Utah, with fucking snow in the middle of fucking May. I fucking hate the snow. Fuck. However, one thing I can say is that, even though I'm a teenager, I know how to drive in it. Unfortunately, this cannot be said for everyone. Now, I know everyone goes off about how no one knows how to drive in the snow, but seriously, they have legitimate reason to complain about that. It's fucking ridiculous.

First off, like I said before, we live in FUCKING UTAH. Honestly. You would think people would be used to the snow, and driving in it. The snow comes every fucking year, people!!! Get used to it! But, no. They refuse. And the minute the first snowflake falls from the sky, all hell breaks loose. People panic. They start slamming on their brakes and changing lanes and causing a fucking mess. So, let me tell you some things to help you drive in the fucking snow. Learn it and live it, folks.

1. Be confident. If you are scared and tense, you are going to crash. You have to know that you know what you're doing. Don't panic, and don't freak the fuck out if you slide a little bit. It's ok. You know what to do, if you'd just stop panicking.
2. When you slide, I swear to god if you slam on your breaks, I will personally come and shank you. Do not slam on your breaks. It will do you no good. You obviously don't have any fucking traction! Calm down, slowly pump your breaks until you stop, and then slowly continue on your way. Unless you slid into someone or something. Then you should probably call your insurance. Fucktard.
3. Do NOT drive 30 miles under the speed limit because there is half an inch of snow on the road! People like you make people like me want to kill you. It's ok to drive the speed limit! Now, if there's a blizzard and you can't see 5 feet in front of you, then it's ok to be cautious. If it's icy, be careful. But if there is a tiny layer of snow on the ground, you need to calm the fuck down, and drive normal. Otherwise, you're going to get shanked.
4. If it's a little slick, or if you're unsure if the roads are slick, be cautious when slowing down. Otherwise, you're gonna slow down at the last second, slide through the red light and end up as one of those dumb asses who got hit by the train.

There are so many more things I could say about this, considering I have the worst road rage! Seriously. People are fucking stupid when they're driving. But, I will stop here. Learn from these little tips I gave you. Also, learn how to fucking drive.