LIfe is a Beautiful Struggle

First off, I just want to say that my thoughts go out to those in Boston today. Stay strong, you will get through this.

Now. Today, I am going to write about me.

The other day, someone told me that they were jealous of my life. They said I always seem so happy. I have a perfect boyfrind (yes, I do) and I'm so mature and grown up. She wishes SHE lived on her own like me, and was doing so well.

I am going to clear this up for you.

For those of you who think I am doing well, I will tell you that, for the most part, I am. But everyone has something hiding behind closed doors.

I have not lived at home for over 2 years. I had moved out at the beginning of the 2nd semester of my senior year, and this has hindered me so greatly. I almost didn't graduate high school because I was working 2 jobs, and working almost 40 hours a week at each one. That equals an 80 hour work week, and full time school. This is not possible to do, without failing in at least one aspect. I am so so grateful to have pulled through and graduated.

I am not financially stable, as you may think. I am not as bad off as many, but for me, even a small debt weighs on my mind greatly. I have doctor bills, insurance, a car payment, utilities and rent. This doesn't include gas for my car, or food, or any 'fun' things.

I am 20 years old and have yet to go to college. This is something that I am not proud of, and think about so much. I want so badly to get into school and start working towards my future in the medical field. But as I explained above, I am not in the financial position to do so.

I will not lie to you. I love my life. I am so proud of how far I have come, and all of the obstacles I went thtrough on the way. I learned so much, and have gotten so strong because of them. I have an amazing boyfriend-who is probably the only perfect thing about me-and, despite all of the things above, I can say that I am happy where I am. Yes, there are setbacks in my life, and things that I wish were different. But who knows what kind of a person I would be if I didn't have to struggle with something, and work for the things that I have.

I have had my struggles, just as everyone does. So before you compare your life to someone else, you need to realize that they have their struggles, too. Just because they don't advertise them, or they are different from yours, does not mean that they aren't struggling as well.

I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life to help me through these things. I am lucky to be where I am, and despite everything that's gone wrong in my life, there are many more things that have gone right. And for that, I am thankful.