To the Titan

Dear Titan,

Today, I pulled into work from my lunch, and there you were. A beautiful red Titan truck, parked like an asshole. Both of your tires were over the yellow line, and you had not a care in the world.

At first, I was so angry. There were so many bitter thoughts running through my head. Why would such a beautiful creature act in such an ugly manner? Why?

I thought, maybe it's not your fault. Maybe you were raised in a way as to show no consideration for anyone, in any situation ever, especially when there is limited parking and, when someone takes up 2 spaces like you did, someone else has to park in fucking Africa and walk 700 miles to get to work. Good job, Titan.

Maybe you were raised right, and you're an asshole by choice. Did you wake up this morning, and think to yourself, 'Today I want to make someone park in Africa'? Did you? That's not a very nice thing to do, my Titan. You should be ashamed.

Now, as I sat in my Hyundai, stewing in my anger, I thought to myself, 'You know. Cars don't really NEED an entire parking space.' So slowly, steadily, I eased myself into the fraction of a space that you had provided.

But don't you worry. I made sure that there was enough room for me to comfortably ease myself out of the car. You, on the otherhand, might have some troubles. You see, I made sure that I left your truck without scratches. I did not, however, make sure that there was enough room to get your door open.

You're welcome, Titan.

Also, you can go fuck yourself.

Sincerely, Shaye and her Hyundai.