My Mom

I know it's been a long time since a blog has been posted. I have been really sick and am having surgery tomorrow. I know, what a bummer. But hopefully they will get everything figured out and I will be all healthy and beautiful again. So, due to my illness, I have been on pain meds. A lot of them. And holy shit. Remember that blog I wrote, "I am High"? Ya. That's me 100% of the time. Thus why there has been no blogging for me. My apologies.

Yesterday when I got off work, my mom took me to my doctor and then out to get a hamburger and a rainbow to make me feel better. (For those of you who don't know what a rainbow is, it's a slush puppy with vanilla ice cream. Best thing ever.) As I was spending the day with her, I came to the realization more and more that this is my mom.

To keep you in the loop, my biological mother and I had a falling out recently. She has been abandoned by all of her family, including her other three children. I stuck by her side for years, because I was the only one who had faith that she would turn her life around and start acting like an adult. For a while there, she did. Until the other day, when she took it upon herself to drive to Washington, take my grandma out of her care facility and run. And then she had the audacity to tell me off for being a backstabbing daughter.

Needless to say, we are no longer in contact with each other.

This took a hit on me. Why the fuck would she tell me off, when I was the one that stood by her all these years? I felt like, at the age of 20 years old, my mother had told me that I was no longer wanted, and that she was putting me up for adoption. It took a few days to come to terms with the fact that the reason was this: She is not my mom.

Luckily, I have a mom. She is married to my dad, and has been since I was three years old. As I've been going through all of these issues with my health, she has been there, holding my hand, talking to the doctors, and driving me to my appointments.

We have had our ups and downs, and there were times when we didn't even talk to each other for months on end. We disagree on things, and we fight, but every mother/daughter relationship is like that.

I am so glad that I have her in my life right now, helping me to fight through my emotional and physical battles that I've been facing. She has held my hand and walked with me through all of this. Her and my dad were by the side of my hospital bed when I was taken to the E.R. and she has not hesitated to leave work, so that she could be with me at every doctor appointment.

She is my mom. And I love her.