Well, to those of you readers who have been enjoying the Dan drama, I have another story for you. Like all of my Dan stories, I would like to start with this...
FUCK YOU DAN!
Ok, so really, I thought this whole mess was over. I thought he would come and get his shit and leave me the fuck along. Boy, was I wrong!
Yesterday I went to my leasing office to thank them for changing my locks. My leasing manager is badass. Seriously love her. Anyways, she informs me that if his stuff is not gone by tomorrow (which is now today) maintenance is going to come and throw everything away. It is a fire hazard, considering it's blocking off my entire back porch. Well, fuck. Now what do I do?
I tell Dan the situation. Again, no reply. My new roommate Amee (ya, I just found out I've been spelling her name wrong the entire time. Whoops!) comes home, and she got a new phone. She calls him, because he's obviously not going to recognize the answer. This is how the conversation goes:
Amee: Dan, I wanted to make sure you're ok. Your stuff is still here, in the rain. When are you coming to get it?
Dan: Ya, I have a new place, but I have no way of transporting my stuff.
Amee: You have a car, and everything but three items, the bed, chair, and dresser, will fit into your car. Come and get all that, and figure out something else for the rest.
Dan: I don't have any way of getting it.
Amee: Like I said, everything but THREE THINGS will fit into your car!
Dan: Ok. What about the rest?
Now, at this point, I would have said, as for the rest, go fuck yourself. And you can find someone with a truck or rent a U-Haul. It's not my problem. Amee doesn't go this route. This is how she responds:
Amee: Well, Shaye has a jeep, we can just use her car.
What the fuck did you just say?? Fuck you, bitch.You did NOT just volunteer not only my car, but told him I'd help him move. I'm not doing shit. Why, you ask? Because:
A) Dan can go fuck himself. In the ass. With a mother fucking cactus. A cactus infected with genital warts. That's how much I like Dan at this point. I know, I'm so fucking nice. You don't have to tell me.
B) I've been helping this mother fucker for a month by letting him keep his shit here. He's made NO effort to move it, and threatened to steal and break my shit. Why the fuck would I help him?
C) This fucker owes me money. Over $300 at this point. And he wants me to help him??
D) You didn't even fucking ask me first!
E) None of the remaining stuff is even going to fit in my jeep! He has a fucking king sized bed, a huge wooden dresser, and a gigantic over-stuffed recliner. Ya, there's no way that's fitting in my jeep. Dumbass.
Oh ya, I'm fuckin' pissed. Seriously, who does that?? So today, instead of being able to go home and relax after a long day at work, Andrew and I are gonna have to stay out and about, doing shit, until bed time. I'm infuriated.
Fuck you Dan, and find your own fucking way to move your shit..
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